%%
I will give you tacos.  OH SUCH TACOS WILL I GIVE.
%%
"I put the fires out!"  "You made them WORSE!"  "Worse...  or BETTER?"
%%
I have already stuffed my normal human belly so full of delicious human FILTH that I could not eat another bite.
%%
GIR!! MORE RUBBER PIGGIES!!!!
%%
Have you met my friend, PUSTULLIO?  He is visiting from.. another place.
%%
YOU!  FROLICKING DIRT CHILD!  MEET.. PUSTULLIO.
%%
DO NOT QUESTION ME!  I CONTROL YOUR ARMS!!
%%
Stupid silent glue boy!
%%
YES!! Oh, I will bring my parents.. and they will be the GREATEST, most PARENTAL parents EVEEEEEEER!!
%%
I will now test you creatures to see which of you is worthy of the honor of becoming MY BEST FRIEND.  The first test is... ABSORBENCY.
%%
GIR!  QUICKLY!  RIDE THE PIG!!
%%
More organs means MORE HUMAN!
%%
Oh, such rain we had.. it was DELICIOUS.
%%
CLEAN, LEMONY-FRESH VICTORY IS MINE!!
%%
OHHHH!!  MY SQUEEDLYSPOOCH!
%%
Dear Zim:  Don't use the time machine.  Love, Zim.
%%
Vile humans!  I shall rule you all with an iron fist!  OBEY THE FIST!
%%
"What are you doing, GIR?"  "Noooothing..."  "Nothing?  Or... SOMETHING?"
%%
"Zim, you're alive?!"  "Yes, so VERY alive.. and full of goo.. MISSION goo."
%%
MADNESS!!
%%
Have you the BRAIN WORMS?!
%%
"Um, is it supposed to be stupid?"  "It's not STUPID.  It's ADVANCED."
%%
So, this.. "rain"..  is it poisonous?
%%
Surely that was no HUMAN bee.
%%
Miserable human stink-beasts!  My doom will fall from the sky onto your doomed heads!
%%
"Why is there BACON in the SOAP?!?!" -Zim
"AH MADE IT MAHSELF!!!"-GIR
%%
GIR, I'll be in my lab, bathing in paste.
%%
"More organs means more human. It *will* work." -Zim
%%
"I love you, cold, unfeeling robot arm!" - Zim
%%
"Invader.s blood marches through my veins like giant, radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!" -Zim
%%
"Inferior human organs!" -Zim
*Zim gets hit with the ball*
"My squeedly spooch!" -Zim
%%
"The Earth is saved! I did it, GIR! Now let's go destroy it." -Zim
%%
"Why am I so amazing?" -Zim
%%
"Zim, don't use the time machine, love, Zim!" -Zim
%%
"The Earth is safe! I did it, GIR! Now let's go destroy it!" -Zim
%%
"GIR, what are you doing!?! Put me down, GIR! Wah, stop! Oh, ow, my organ!" -Zim
%%
"That's it, Dib. Laugh now, yes. Laugh and frolic in your vile meats of evil...meats of evil!" -Zim
%%
"Curse you!!!" -Zim
%%
"Please ma'am, if you don't buy my candy, my little brother will go insane." -Zim
%%
"People of Earth! Prepare to taste the mighty foot of my planet!" -Zim
%%
"I'm human, yep! Human, human, human! Just look at my neck!" -Zim
%%
"Ohthankyouyou'vedonetherightthingmyTallestandyouwon'tbeforgotten
whenIruletheUniversethankstothisamazingbattlemechBYE!" -Zim
%%
"Hey! Get out of the way! Hey! Hey! Hey! Move it! Hey! Hey! You invoke my wrath!?!" -Zim
%%
"Your magical love adventure begins now!" -Zim
%%
"You're after my robot bee!!!" -Zim
%%
"Don't touch anything...or I'll melt your face off or something." -Zim
%%
"Curse you, snacks! Curse yoooooouuuuu!!!" -Zim
%%
>GIR
%%
"I'm running, I'm running, whoohoooo! I'm running! Wheehehehe! I'm naked!" -GIR
%%
"Can I be a mongoose dog?" -GIR
%%
"Aw...my bees" - GIR
%%
"I miss my cupcake." -GIR
%%
"I am Government Man, come from the government. The government has sent me." -Gir as 'Government Man'
%%
"I love this show." -GIR
%%
"Ooh, I like madness!" -GIR
%%
"Let's go to my room, pig!" -GIR
%%
"Aw, somebody needs a hug!" -GIR
%%
"I like you." -GIR
%%
"Tacos!" -GIR
%%
"I love the little tacos. I love them good." -GIR
%%
"But I neeeeed tacos! I need them or I will explode! That happens to me sometimes!" -GIR
%%
"Wait, if you destroyed Dib in the past, then he won't ever be your enemy, then you won't have to send a robot back to destroy him, and then he will be your enemy so you will have to send a robot back-" -GIR
*GIR's head explodes*
%%
"Why my piggy!?! I love-ed you, piggy! I love-ed you!" -GIR
%%
"Let's make biscuits! Let's make biscuits!" -GIR
%%
"I'm dancin' like a monkey!" -GIR
%%
"Aww...I wanted to explode!" -GIR
%%
"My taquitos! Eh, homina, eh... TAQUITOS!" -GIR
%%
"Why is his head so big!?! Why's his head so big!?!" -GIR
%%
"I gonna watch it again!" -GIR
%%
"Me and the squirrel are friends!" -GIR
%%
"It's got chicken legs!" -GIR
%%
"The plug thing! It's not plugged!" -GIR
%%
"Chicken!" -GIR
*GIR laughs*
"I'm gonna eat you!" -GIR
%%
"Aww, you look so cute!" -GIR
%%
"Meooow!" -GIR
%%
"Cows are my frieeeeends..." -GIR
%%
"Doo dee doo dee dooooo, waffles!!!" -GIR
%%
"Hi floor! Make me a sandwich!" -GIR
%%
"He.s gettin. eaten by a shark!" -GIR
%%
>Dib
%%
"Do not show fear. This is me without fear... and a 62 pound hall pass." -Dib
%%
"But one day, you'll be sitting in your house feeling all safe and secure, and then you'll look over and I'll be there! Doin' stuff!" -Dib
%%
"Gaz! Taste me! I'm delicious!" -Dib
%%
"My head's not big!" -Dib
%%
"Chickenfoot! Come back! You're not a freak! You're just stupid!" -Dib
%%
>Gaz
%%
"Dib drank the last soda. He will pay." -Gaz
%%
"Don't bother me Dib. I'm in the zone." -Gaz
%%
"Remember earlier, the whole bugging me thing? You're doing it again." -Gaz
%%
"If you wanna keep all your limbs, Zim, you will put me down, you will put me down now!" -Gaz
%%
"Let it be known that from this day, until the end of the day, vengeance will be mine. Dib, you will not know the meaning of peace, for I shall rain misery down upon your pizza stealing heart!" -Gaz
%%
"Can't you see I'm trying to draw a little piggy!?!" -Gaz
%%
"Your voice is stupid!" -Gaz
%%
>The Tallest
%%
"All while gathering crucial information, assessing the planet's weaknesses, making it vulnerable to our big... space ship... gang!" -Red
%%
"Malfunctioning SIR units! Hey! These things are dangerous! Anyone using these could really get hurt! Send them to Zim." -Purple
%%
>Other Characters
%%
"You like ice cream. You like ice cream. You love it. You cannot resist ice cream. To resist is hopeless. Your existence is meaningless without ice cream." -Ice Cream Truck
%%
"My poor insane son." -Prof. Membrane
%%
>Group Quotes
%%
"Oh, I quit when I found out about this." -Zim
"You quit being banished?" -Purple
%%
"Um, is it supposed to be stupid?" -Zim
"It's not stupid. It's advanced!" -Purple
%%
"I put the fires out" -Zim
"You made them worse" -Red Tallest
"Worse...or better?" -Zim
%%
"Now...witness the power of my compass!" -Zim
*compass attaches to GIR's stomach*
"Awww, it likes me!" -GIR
%%
"What is WRONG with these people? This place is just BEGGING to be destroyed!" -Zim
"Woo! I like destroying!" -GIR
%%
"Something is broken and it's not your fault?" -Zim
"I know, I'm scared too." -Gir
%%
"What happened? How did you run out of fuel so quickly?" -Zim
"I emptied it out." -Gir
"You emptied it? Why!?" -Zim
"To make room for the tuna." -Gir
%%
"Hooray for Earth!" -GIR
"GIR, Earth is our enemy." -Zim
"I understaaaand." -GIR
%%
"And then watch you transform, more and more, into what you really are deep down in your heart!" -Zim
"Deep down I'm bologna?" -Dib
"Yes." -Zim
"That's just ... dumb." -Dib
"Dumb like a moose, Dib! Dumb like a moose!" -Zim
%%
"What are you doing GIR?" -Zim
"Nothing....." -GIR
"Nothing or...something?" -Zim
%%
"I was once a man." -Random Rat Person
"But you're a woman." -Dib
%%
"You left what at home?" -Zim
"The guidy, chippy, thingy." -GIR
%%
"Squeedly spooch? Did you hear that, Gaz? That's no human organ! Humans don't have squeedly spooches!" -Dib
"I've got a squeedly spooch." -Gaz
%%
"Incredible! See Gaz? To defeat my enemy, I must study my enemy, then become my enemy, then move in with my enemy, then where my enemy's clothes, then-" -Dib
"You're in my light." -Gaz
%%
"Ms. Bitters, I think a pencil is lodged in my brain. Can I go to the nurse?" -Dib
"How far in your brain?" -Ms. Bitters
*Dib glances down at the pencil*
"Preeetty far." -Dib
%%
"Look at you! You've gone too far! You're a hideous blob of stolen organs!" -Dib
"I've been working out." -Zim
%%
"Hi!" -GIR
"GIR, finally! I need your help! I've been captured!" -Zim
"Yaaaay!" -GIR
"No, that's bad, GIR." -Zim
"Yaaaay!" -GIR
%%
"I'm leaving with or without you, Dib. Preferably without you." -Gaz
"Go on, Gaz. I've got work to do. Fate of the world kind of work!" -Dib
*Zim runs by several times, still screaming*
"Ooh! Can I watch! Wait, no, forget it." -Gaz
%%
"That was your fate of the world work!?! Jumping in a puddle!?! You do realize I'm gonna have to destroy you now." -Gaz "It was worth it. Score one for the human race! Score nothing for the Zim... thingy race." -Dib
"I will destroy you." -Gaz
%%
"I will rule you all with an iron fist!" -Zim
"No, Zim. The machine has assigned you a career in fast food preparation!" -Ms. Bitters
"I will prepare food with my iron fist! Then I will work my way up to ruling you all with my fist!" -Zim
*Zim holds his fist up to Melvin*
"You! Obey the fist!" -Zim
%%
"Now, Dib. I leave you to your... em.." -Zim
"Moosey fate, say moosey fate!" -GIR
"Your moosey fate." -Zim
%%
"Now take me to the equipment room, GIR! Equipment room! Now, GIR!" -Zim
"Do a little dance!" -GIR
"No, GIR! No dance! Just obey me!" -Zim
"Daaance!" -GIR
%%
"Gaz, there's an alien in the house!" -Dib
"You mean besides you?" -Gaz
%%
"They throw planets into it like firewood to keep it burning. And now, they have the Earth." -Zim
"Yay!" -GIR
"No GIR, that's bad." -Zim
"Aw." -GIR
"Do you know what this means?" -Zim
"Yes." -GIR
"You don't really, do you?" -Zim
"Hm." -GIR
%%
"Why was there bacon in the soap!?!" -Zim
"I made it myself!" -GIR
%%
"Hurry GIR! The mission's been compromised! I think we've been seen out of our disguises... by a human!" -Zim
"But Dib's seen us before." -GIR
"And he knows where we live." -GIR
*Zim laughs*
"Dib. No, this is different. This is serious." -Zim
%%
"Don't you care that Zim's trying to destroy all mankind? Huh?" -Dib
"But he's so bad at it." -Gaz
%%
"You're sure they took this one?" - Gaz
"Yes! Wait...I dunno." -GIR
%%
"Your pitiful rescue attempt is nothing but a pitiful failure! Stupid, stinking, humans." -Zim
"Doesn't this station have escape pods?" -Gaz
"Of course, they're right over there." -Zim
*Zim points; Gaz starts to push Dib towards where Zim pointed*
"Stupid, stupid... Hmmm?" -Zim
%%
"It can be dangerous out there." -Prof. Membrane
"That's what the bat's for." -Gaz
%%
"What you need is to give the Game Slave to me or I will plunge you into a nightmare world from which there is no waking!" -Gaz
"But... I'm a better gamer than you!" -Iggins
"I hope you like nightmare worlds!" -Gaz
%%
"Sorry...I'm late...Horrible nightmare visions!" -Dib
"It's called life, Dib. Sit down!" -Ms. Bitters
%%
"Be gone with you! I've had enough of your nonsense from your smelly mouth filled with...corn!" -Zim
"I haven't been eating corn!" -Dib
"LIAR!" -Zim
%%
"I'm not here because I like you, Dib. I'm just here for filthy gargantuan head!" -Zim
"Oh, now it's gargantuan!?!" -Dib
%%
"What's it do?" -GIR
*Dib taps GIR's shoulder*
"Hey! Go away!" -Dib
"Okey dokey!" -GIR
%%
"Kids play without fear in the streets of this humble hamlet! In fact, it's the kind of place where you don't even have to lock the door!" -Host of Mysterious Mysteries
"Who are you!?! Get out of my house!" -Gaz
%%
"GIR! Remember with your brains! You must behave like a human dog monster! Do you understand?" -Zim
"I really don't." -GIR
%%
"Yeah. When's the last time you cleaned yourself?" -Blue
"Define 'self'." -Green
%%
"The MegaDoomer Combat Stealth Mech!" -Red
"I don't like it!" -Purple
"We didn't build it so you could 'like it'! This one's going to planet Meekrob to help Invader Tenn conquer it!" -Red
"Well I should like it." -Purple
%%
"I've put up with you long enough, Dib! Now, fight an enemy you cannot see!" -Zim
"You're right there." -Dib
%%
"Lies! Now, behold the doom cannon!" -Zim
"I can't. It's invisible!" -Dib
"But you can see me?" -Zim
"That's what I said." -Dib
"Oh that's stupid!" -Zim
"Really stupid!" -Dib
"You dare agree with me!?! Prepare to meet your horrible doom!" -Zim
%%
"What do you mean 'victory'!?! Your robot exploded and you didn't destroy me!" -Dib
"It was a trick, yes! Eh, my real plan was to...steal this camera from you! So that you couldn't show these pictures, hah!" -Zim
%%
Oooo...kaaay...Tak, I'm glad you stopped by, it gives me a chance to end our hideous relationship...and enjoy your shrill cry in having been rejected by Zim!" -Zim
"You have got to be kidding." -Tak
"I assure you, I am very serious. Now cry! Cry like you've never cried...before." -Zim
%%
"What is this!?! And what is this plan?" -Zim
*Tak laughs*
"Yes, yes, I'm a master of comedy, now tell me this plan!" -Zim
%%
"My beautiful base!" -Zim
"Part 2 is-" -Tak
"No! My beautiful base! No!" -Zim
"Part 2 is-" -Tak
"No! My beautiful base, no!" -Zim
"Part 2 is-" -Tak
"No!!!" -Zim
"Part-" -Tak
"No!" -Zim
"Okay, I'm-" -Tak
"No!" -Zim
"Okay, I'm leaving now." -Tak
"But you didn't tell me your plan." -Zim
%%
"Oh come on! I like Tak! And she hates you! You're just jealous of-" -Dib
*Zim hops onto the table*
This has nothing to do with jelly! I've been trying to figure out her plan but it's been difficult! She's good. Not good like me, but good." -Zim
%%
"I'm the only one here with the technology to decode the files!" -Zim
"And we're the only ones here with the files to be decoded!" -Dib
"And I'm..." -GIR
*GIR laughs*
"I dunno!" -GIR
%%
"Do things! Make Tak's robot crazy." -Gaz
"Only if you dance with me!" -GIR
"No! Never! Never!" -Gaz
*GIR stares*
"Oh, come on!" -Gaz
%%
"Hey! I like snacks!" -Purple
"He likes snacks, Zim." -Red
%%
Gir: I loveded you piggy, I LOVEDED YOU!!!
%%
Gir: Aw! Your to smart for me!! Keif was planning a party for you cause he loves you! HE LOVES YOU! THAT KID LOVES YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!
%%
Gir: I'm making the cake!
%%
Gir: BUUUUURRRRRRIIIIITOOOOOS!!!!
%%
Gir: You are no commander, you are a threat to the mission! Your methods are stupid, your intellegence is stupid, your progress has been STUPID! For the sake of the mission, you must be terminated!
%%
Gir: Hes gettin' eaten by a shark.
%%
Gir: Aw, I wanna watch the scary monkey show!
%%
~Zim
Zim: I am a normal human worm baby!
%%
Zim: Eh?!
%%
Zim: Yes yes, thats fascinating.
%%
Zim: Dumb like a moose dib, dumb like a moose!!!
%%
Zim: I need these moneys for my nutritions!
%%
~DIB
Dib: Deep down I'm balonga?
%%
Dib: Thats just stupid.
%%
Dib: Im not gonna sit back and watch the things he do!
%%
Dib: You were just aliens though
%%
Dib: I do not have a big head!
~ Gaz
Gaz: Things he do?! WHATS YOUR PROBLEM?!
%%
Gaz: Your weirder then usuall...
%%
~ Tak
Tak: Birds sing, and, YOUR GONNA PAY!
%%
Tak: Mimmy!
%%
~ Misc.
Marzoid: Hello pilot, How ya doin?
%%
Zim: Gir hold onto something!* gir holds himself*
%%
Purple Tallest: Where was I? Oh yeah! HUH!? HUH!?
%%
Purple(again): Its advanced.
%%
Purple(again!!): And these "humans", they're tall, yet stupid?
%%
.Taste me Gaz!  I.m delicious!. -Dib
%%
.No one should be this Delicious!. .Dib
%%
.By the way, it.s not called parent-teacher night.  It.s called Zim-doom-parent, Zim-doom-zimmy-doom night.  Hehehe.  Watch out for that puppy.. .Dib
%%
.It.s really hard to want to chase somebody who smells that bad.. .Dib
%%
.COME BACK!  You.re not a freak!  You.re just STUPID!. .Dib
%%
.Am I the only one seeing the alien sitting in class?. .Dib
%%
.You can.t hide forever!  And if you can, then I.ll wait forever!  I.ve been preparing for this day all my life!  Okay. I.m gonna go home now and prepare some more. but I.ll be back!. .Dib
%%
.This is no GAME!  This is my LIFE!. .Dib
%%
.You.re launching your enemies into space?!  THAT.S THE PLAN?!  This is crazy!. .Dib
%%
.I will destroy you.. .Gaz
%%
"If you want to keep all your limbs, Zim, you will put me down. You will put me down now." .Gaz
%%
.Duh!  To make room for Tuna!. .GIR
%%
.Where are my walnuts?. .GIR
%%
.Yay!  I.m gonna be sick!. .GIR
%%
.Why?!  Why my piggy?  I loved you piggy!  I loved you.. .GIR
%%
.I love this show.. .GIR
%%
.Can I be a mongoose dog?. -GIR
%%
.Where.d the last piggy go?. .GIR
%%
.Why did you draw that?. .Invader Lort
%%
.The only guy who ever escaped, never made it out.. .Mall Guy who slept on the Job
%%
.There.s a pigeon on you head.  You.ve got head pigeons.  Get the nurse before it spreads to the other children!. .Ms. Bitters
%%
.To celebrate over crowding in school, a new student will be joining the class.. .Ms. Bitters
%%
.When you were my students, I said you.d amount to nothing.  And I was right.  You.re NOTHING!. .Ms. Bitters
%%
.Not now son!  I.m making.. TOAST!. .Professor Membrane
%%
.And what country is the little green boy from?. .Professor Membrane
%%
.Everything is lasers with you!  I.m telling you smoke machines are what the people really .AHHH!. .Purple Tallest
%%
.Shouldn.t you be frying something?. .Purple Tallest
%%
.You should have tried harder.. .Purple Tallest
%%
.It.s not stupid, it.s advanced.. .Purple Tallest
%%
.Let.s give a big cheer to Invader Zim for being so far away.. .Red Tallest
%%
.Just cause I didn.t  lock it it.s my fault it was unlocked?!.- Stupid green-eyed alien
%%
.Invaders blood marches through my veins, like giant radioactive rubberpants!  The pants command me!  Do not ignore my veins!. -Zim
%%
.Have you the BRAIN WORMS?!. .Zim
%%
.Hello friends!  I am a perfectly normal human worm baby.  You have nothing, absolutely nothing to fear from me.  Just pay no attention to me and we.ll get along just fine.. -Zim
%%
.Computer!  Take me to the weasels!. .Zim
%%
.Yes. So very alive.  And full of goo.  Mission goo.. .Zim
%%
.Insolent fool boy!  It.s a skin condition.. -Zim
%%
.In the event of say a full scale invasion, how prepared would you say this planet.s defenses would be?. -Zim
%%
 .Squealy Fools!  These human flithies should be honored to be considered as possible friends of Zim.. .Zim
%%
.How amazingly you can fall into a puddle?. -Zim
%%
.One wormhole would have spat you out into a dimension of pure itching.  You can.t really tell, but that stuff is really itchy.. .Zim
%%
.You see at the end of this wormhole lies. A ROOM WITH A MOOSE!!!!. .Zim
%%
.Yes, I will bring my parents!  And they will be the greatest, most parental parents of all!. .Zim
%%
.I feel good about how today went.. .Zim
%%
"Why am I so AMAZING?!"-Zim
%%
Zim: Oh, I quit when I found out about this.
%%
Dib: Ms. Bitters?  I think a pencil is lodged in my brain.  Can I go to the nurse?
Ms. Bitters: How far in your brain?
Dib: Pretty far.
%% 
Red Tallest: Oh, now that.s just sad.
Purple Tallest: Could you get any shorter?!
Red Tallest: You.ll be assigned to Blorch, home of the slaughtering rat people.
%%
Zim: Sorry I.m late tallest, I couldn.t find my invitation.  You.re lucky I made it at all!
Red Tallest: You weren.t invited at all.
%%
GIR: "Hi!" -GIR
Zim: "GIR, finally! I need your help! I've been captured!"
GIR: YAY!
Zim: No, GIR, that.s bad.
GIR: YAY!
%%
Red: We see now you are truly deserving.
Zim: Yes.  Yes I am.
%%
Zim: I don.t have time for this Dib!  Your world may be in great danger.
Dib: Well, yeah.  Your trying to destroy it.  Remember?
%%
"I saw a squirrel . . . it went like this . . ." - GIR
%%
"Can't you see this woman is suffering from severe pokey trauma!?" - Woman
%%
"I was born with webbed fish toes... like some kind of horrible fish-boy. Wanna see?" - Derge
%%
"I'm gonna roll around on the floor for a little bit, 'kay?" - GIR
%%
"Gir quickly, ride the pig" - ZIM
%%
"I am government man, come from the government. The government has sent me." - GIR
%%
"WHY, why my piggy, I loveded you piggy, I loveded youuuu" - GIR
%%
"Aww... I wanted to explode." - GIR
%%
"The meat! The meat! THE HORRIBLE MEAT!" - ZIM
%%
"You need some help!" - Iggins (to GAZ)
%%
"Me and the squirrel are friends!" - GIR
%%
"Wow! I'm boring!" - DIB
%%
"YAYYY! I'm gonna be SICK!" - GIR
%%
"Together we can . . . RULE THE MALL!" - Slab Wrankle
%%
"YOUR VOICE IS STUPID!" - GAZ
%%
"You're not a freak! You're just stupid!!" - DIB
%%
"CHICKEN!!" *giggles* "I'm gonna eat you!" - GIR
%%
"This place smells. Can I have a soda?" - Gretchen
%%
[phone rings] "Another one?" [to class] "To celebrate overcrowding in school, a new student will be joining the class." - Miss Bitters
%%
"Hey, ZIM's next on the list, should we even inspect him? I mean, he's not really an Invader, and... we hate him." - Tallest Red
%%
"Plasmaran battle tanks... Maimbots... death-ray cannons... a sack of taquitos?" - Tallest Purple
%%